Personal Journal
Day 1 – July 29, 2021
Day 1 – July 29, 2021
I chose a site with free sign-up, but you have to pay to see messages or be chatting with someone with a paid account. I have set up my profile with four pictures, three of my face with varying hairstyles, one body pictured so that they see all of me. I have answered the profile questions of who I am and what I’m looking for. Most of the questions are multiple-choice. A few allow you to write out an answer. I’ve done this and hope that I have made my position and interests clear. You can see my profile information below.
After getting the account and profile set up, I received several messages, some from paid profiles and some not paid accounts. Initially, I did not pay for the account. So those messages were blurred out. I decided to reply to any friendly message sent to me. It resulted in a few back-and-forth exchanges that quickly fizzled out.
I discovered that even when you tell them that you want honesty and you aren’t there for dirty chat, they don’t care. They will lull you in with talk that mimics what you’ve stated in your profile and have you thinking that they are sincerely looking for a real relationship. Many of them aren’t.
One of the first exchanges I had was with a gentleman from Florida that I will call Alfred. Alfred sent a message littered with emojis, crowns roses and who knows what else. He was very direct in letting me know that he was looking for a dominant female to be his queen. He also made sure to let me know that he was submissive in all things and willing to relocate to serve me. What I learned from my encounter with Alfred was simple, don’t entertain foolishness. Once he understood that I wasn’t into dominating him, he moved on.
Another exchange was with a man that I will call Bill from Arizona. This guy’s first question was “What’s your favorite dessert?” I thought it was a good opener considering that he listed his profession as a chef. We sent a few messages back and forth before he quickly moved into wanting to know how I felt about massages. From there it was only a few words before he asked about nude massages. I told him the only massages I was into were ones that I paid for at a spa that did not get sexual. That was my last message to and from Bill.
Then there was Cody from New York, who was all into finding out about me for about 2 seconds. I can only think that he found another female who was willing to show him something that I would not. Of the first messages I got, two were honest and said what they really wanted. One was looking for “Fun Chat” as he called it. The other lives in my city and was looking for FWB.
Those exchanges left me a bit baffled. Why would any of these men indicate that they are looking for romance dating and long-term relationships when they only want sex whether in person or by phone or video? I know that the owners of these sites can’t just call them what they are – hook-up sites, but would it be easier for those of us who aren’t a part of the hook-up culture to recognize it? Yes, it would.
I did exchange my google voice number with a young man from New Jersey. Let’s call him Buggy Butt. He is thirty-eight and only wanted to talk about building an intense connection that would help us bond. He asked if I was into art and creativity. I am. He wanted to share his art with me, in the form of interactive poetry. Okay, I thought that’s different. What it seems he wanted was to create a dirty poem live between us.
I wasn’t having it and told him so. He was persistent and kept bringing the conversation back to this creative outlet of his. No matter how I tried to indicate to him that this was not going to happen, he didn’t get it. I told him I had to get offline.