Personal Journal

August 20, 2021

Day 22 – August 20, 2021

I woke up yesterday in a funk. I can’t pinpoint why, but I know that I’m in a mood. I get this way from time to time. I don’t really want to be around anyone. I don’t want to talk. I just want to be alone. It’s an F- the world kind of thing. What I really want to do is get in bed, put on my headphones and listen to music, and sleep. It might be mild depression. It’s not like I don’t fight with that every now and again.

I still feel that way today. I’ve been sitting at my computer, looking at the screen for my story. I don’t even care enough to write. So I’m watching stupid shows like Love After Lock-up. Tomorrow may be my stay in the bed all day-stay in my pajamas day.

Lewis and I are still chatting and getting better acquainted. He works hard and I wish that I could see him, but we are 1400 miles apart. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me. Am I longing to be near him and that’s why I’m melancholy? I’m thinking that I need to take a step back. Maybe if I stop responding so quickly when he contacts me, not answer the phone immediately, maybe I can clear the romantic cob webs clogging my brain.